Life is about winning, right?
On a recent call night I found myself watching the movie "Little Miss Sunshine" a comical and poignant story about a family traveling to a beauty contest for six and seven year old girls. The movie shows the family journeying several hundred miles in a yellow VW bus as they struggle with life and each other.
For me the message of the movie is distilled in to a moment when the oldest character, the grandfather, so damaged by life that he resorts to snorting cocaine to cope, calms the youngest character, Olive, the beauty queen contestant as she expresses her fears of failure on the eve of the contest.
"Grand paw, I don't want to be a loser. Dad hates losers." Olive cries.
"Your are not a loser. You know what a loser is?" Her grand paw replies. "A loser is someone who is so afraid of not winning they don't even try. Now you are trying right?"
Olive replies in the affirmative and Grand paw asks another question, "Now we are going to have fun tomorrow, right?" Again affirmation and the plot moves on.1
This scene reveals much about life. The cliche is "winning is not everything" and yet I find myself and those around me living as if being first, being at the top, is the only thing. More often than not in the most important aspects of life showing up and giving the task at hand our best effort possible is the most important part. This is when we become winners regardless of our place in the end.
1. Little Miss Sunshine Twentieth Century Fox Presentation 2006
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Musings of a physician in private practice for 24 years, now teaching in a residency program and working as an ob-gyn hospitalist in a large metropolitan hospital.
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The Local MD
Having now been a physician in private practice for twenty-one years, twenty-six days and about an hour and twenty minutes, it occurs to me that I have become what in medical school was often a derogatory term, the local MD.The presentation on rounds often went something like: "This 45 year old Caucasian male was seen last week by his LMD, and diagnosed with a viral upper respiratory infection..." At that point everyone knew that the LMD had missed the diagnosis. Otherwise the poor patient would not have ended up in a tertiary medical center with three consulting specialist, a fellow, a resident and four medical students at his bedside.What we, the medical students, the resident, the fellow and even the attending hospital physicians did not realize is that we would never know John Smith as well as the LMD. We would never speak to his wife using her first name. We would never be able to recall the names of all his children and know where they were in the world. We would never remember his favorite hobby let alone joke with him about it. Nor would we shed a heart felt tear when we gave him the diagnosis of the aggressive small cell carcinoma of the lung that had landed him in our midst and would kill him in less than three months despite our aggressive treatment that was the best medical science has to offer.At that point in my life I was very proud to be even the lowest ranking person on the team that was on the cutting edge of the diagnosis and the treatment of the gravest of conditions that plagued mankind. I felt so very lucky that I was being initiated in to this sacred fraternity. That I would soon be able to write "MD" after my name. I am still proud of my vocation yet I believe there is a wisdom that has only come with those twenty-years of practice.Today I realize what people want most of their physician is that he or she is someone who cares.Yes, we all want "everything medical science has to offer." Yet, what most of patients need is someone who will listen with their heart as well as with their head. Physician eyes are important, not only for seeing signs of disease in the body but for making contact with the patient's eyes where we are often allowed to see into their soul. All of the technology in the world will not replace a warm clasp of the hand or sitting at the bedside to share a few moments of the day along with the test results.So, I have created this blog. In large part it is a place for me to put my feelings. My hope is that at least some of these posts will resonate with others out there. Not just physicians, but others in caregiving vocations and even those for whom we care. If we are not here for each other then why are we here?
1 comment:
I just discovered your blog and I enjoy your writing. I'm sure you're busy, but you should post more often. :)
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